Saturday, June 7, 2008

im confused

"You've completely make me not bothered how you feel like now, this is what you made me do and you pushed me to my limit. im not patient? well, maybe yeah, it's because you never gave me a chance to be patient and all you see of me is nothing, just the past. im sick of crying and hurting myself. im learning yet trying to forgive and forget, and just laugh the past off my shoulder. but you? whatever." quote from alea amin..thanx babe..u r such my inspiration..tee hee..

now, to move on and wipe my tears.

well, since the last time i posting my blog, i was so0o emotional and was crying all night long 4 a silly reason which when i think about it back, i shouldn't cry at the first place. but its already past, and i have to move on no matter what.

who are you?why i'm crying for you?am i deserve this?
if you cant accept me or something, tell me. i wont bother u anymore.
i wont try 2 make anything sweet 4 u anymore which i think i can impress u.
ohh me ohhh my...silly me!!

who is she?why she was there watching u playing rugby?are u guys still together?
tell me??ohh lord, please open his mouth 2 tell me which is which are real..
and dear girl, dont blame me if i am texting him everyday, because for god sake i dunno and really damn fucking dunno if u guys still together.

yes..i admit that im hurt at that time..really hurt till dunno what.
i cant even concentrate on the game and almost ruining the game.
and even worse, i feels like i was dreaming.
yahh yahh..i remember she's was calling his name during the game like support him or something.boommmm!!! it hit me..i feel weak, i wanna faint at that time.serious!!!i cant even look at him.i feels like wanna cry.
and it was raining, no one will ever know if im crying..s0o yes..i did..i did cry..im crying like hell.
my head was somewhere else, not on a rugby ball, not on a tag, not even on a game.somewhere, looking 4 something that can get rid of it.and we lose the game.its like a drama or something..damn.

it was late when i reached home, 12 something..im all wet.its raining heavily outside.
i didn't go for shower.the bathroom is broken..hell!its like a sad drama or something.complete!pfftt.
so i said to myself, good, so ill catch a cold, flu and all when i wake up from bed tomorrow.i dont care.i have no mood to think of that.im so0o fucking sad.
im cry cry cry till dunno what time. i cant sleep.
im sending a msg to my fwen :

me: u..ape i nak buat?i tak boleh berhenti menangis.sangat sedih..(u, wut shud i do?cant stop crying..so0o sad)
my fwen: jangan lah menangis.i paham ape u rase.i akan rase same macam u kalau i jd u.jgn pk sgt k?pegi berehat..(please dont cry..i know how u feel.i would feel the same if i were u.go and get sum rest)
me: i xbley berhenti..(i cant stop!!!)
my fwen : kalau u terus macam ni lagi teruk..(if you carry on like this, it will getting worse)

then the night goes by..while im stil crying..
hope everything gonna be fine and dandy tomorrow.


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